I hate your face
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
