I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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