he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
All the doctor said was why
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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