I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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