I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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