i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
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