So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
