The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
