Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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