He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
