we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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