i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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