Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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