So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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