Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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