My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
