Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
