Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Your cock deserves a montage
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
