I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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