You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
high people should be assigned attendants
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
