at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
two words...techno handjob
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
