Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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