I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
