Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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