I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
