Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
