She's JV to your varsity
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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