people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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