So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
