so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
