Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
