mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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