I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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