plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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