I think I died a long time ago.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
