Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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