i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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