hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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