I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
