where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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