evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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