at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
