you would pick up someone in the library
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
