Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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