youre lurking in front of me
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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