um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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