i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
How external is "for external use only"?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
