SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
