i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
