I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
