I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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